C.V.

Anxiety. It’s described as our body's natural response to stress. Picture this. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? If the answer is yes, can you remember how you felt? Clammy palms, red face, you begin to break a sweat. Your stomach starts to turn as the officer approaches your window...you start to have difficulty breathing and your muscles turn to stone. This is a relatively normal response. This feeling is no stranger to me because I’ve dealt with anxiety ever since the 1st grade. Anxiety has always been really challenging for me because I never know when it’s going to come.

Growing up I was always anxious. I would get so worked up worrying about the littlest things! Anxiety has affected many areas of my life but specifically, my eating habits. When I would become anxious I wouldn’t eat. There was a point in my life where I had stopped eating to maintain my figure. I remember noticing one day that none of my clothes fit me anymore and then saw a picture of myself and was shocked at how thin I was. I wasn't healthy, I was actually always lethargic and had no energy or no motivation to do anything. I was sacrificing my own health to please other people. In High school School I would spend hours getting ready in the mornings, I would wear pounds of makeup and hair extensions because I was so worried about how others would perceive me.

This was a really difficult part of my life but also really beautiful. I have learned so much about myself through the process of overcoming anxiety. The biggest thing I learned was to let go. I have learned to let go of other people's opinions of me and I have learned to let go of fear. In some darkest times where I felt so unworthy and afraid I I remember as a little girl I would always pray to God asking him to heal me and take away my pain. I have come to realize now my whole life I have been praying for the wrong things. I needed Jesus to strengthen me to fight this mental battle and to equip me with the right tools to overcome all things through Him. I pray now for God to fill me with his peace and to give me the strength to overcome anxiety, and he has. The Lord has provided me with an abundance of peace, love, and Joy. He has strengthened me to fight these battles to where when they do come they don't stay. God has been my anchor through my entire life constantly reaffirming my worth. I handled anxiety (and still handle to this day) by relying on Jesus.

I can now confidently say I no longer have an eating disorder and don’t experience constant anxiety. Sure there are times where I am anxious, but when those times come I am not afraid anymore because I know God is with me and I will overcome it. I am always reminded that God desires his people to live in perfect health and that He is the ultimate source of Healing. I think it is so important to share our personal struggles with people because no one is meant to go through life alone. In reality, we all struggle but we have the choice to try and deal with it on our own or seek help and community.

The moment I started sharing my struggles with others was the moment I felt truly free but the moment I actually gave my struggles to God was the moment my life was changed forever. I think a lot of time people are intimidated and fearful of what others will think. I’m telling you right now that people are actually a lot less judgemental than you think. I want to encourage everyone to own their struggles. Own it, share it, and give it to God.

That is what helped me and I am so confident that it will help others too :)